Episode 11

[Living in] Fear with Ginny Forbes

Ginny shares her own journey in fear, how she started to communicate about it, and how she started addressing it one bite at a time.

This week we talk about living in fear and what that fear can do to your life. Join us in Addressing the ELEPHANT in the Room.

Transcript
Coach April Ballestero:

Well, welcome.

Coach April Ballestero:

Everyone is another episode of addressing the elephant in the room.

Coach April Ballestero:

And as always, we are thankful for our amazing guests.

Coach April Ballestero:

That take the time to dive in, to take on an elephant and I have another beautiful

Coach April Ballestero:

What do you want to share about yourself?

Coach April Ballestero:

And then we'll dive into your elephant.

Ginny Forbes:

Okay.

Ginny Forbes:

Well, my name is Jenny Forbes.

Ginny Forbes:

I'm a retired wedding photographer.

Ginny Forbes:

I'm a missionary.

Ginny Forbes:

I work with foster children, incarcerated youth, and also women in prison.

Coach April Ballestero:

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That's quite a few people.

Coach April Ballestero:

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Yes.

Coach April Ballestero:

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And what a beautiful gift.

Coach April Ballestero:

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And you have a specific elephant you wanted to take on today.

Ginny Forbes:

Yes, I do.

Ginny Forbes:

My elephant is fear and God has just been breaking my heart for the amount

Coach April Ballestero:

And so everyone understands how the address

Coach April Ballestero:

So before we dive into a very powerful elephant, is the guests always to pick

Coach April Ballestero:

on the hot seat and really dive into the subject, how the elephant shows up, how the

Coach April Ballestero:

And we launch every week and we are gonna, engineer's kind enough to end our season

Coach April Ballestero:

Intense elephant.

Coach April Ballestero:

So Jenny, your opportunity now is to share, and this is downloadable by the

Coach April Ballestero:

So thank you for joining us again, and we're going to dive into the elephant.

Coach April Ballestero:

Jenny, what overall makes you feel like you can be comfortable sitting

Coach April Ballestero:

Cause it's a really big elephant.

Ginny Forbes:

It is God has been breaking my heart over this for quite a while now.

Ginny Forbes:

And I thank you April for this opportunity and this platform

Ginny Forbes:

And my prayer is that it will touch some hearts and release some people from the

Ginny Forbes:

And for me, I've spent almost my whole adult life living in fear.

Ginny Forbes:

I'm not debilitating, but when I was 10, my youngest sister passed away and she

Ginny Forbes:

And so with that came fear, I didn't know what death was at the

Ginny Forbes:

And so then it just, this fear it was in my heart of, okay, what if I get sick and die?

Ginny Forbes:

Or what if my other sisters dies?

Ginny Forbes:

What if one of my parents, my mom or my dad got sick and died.

Ginny Forbes:

So it was just something that was constantly on my mind.

Ginny Forbes:

And then as I grew up and got married and had children of my own.

Ginny Forbes:

It all came back again.

Ginny Forbes:

So as my kids reached five years old, which was the age that my sister was diagnosed

Ginny Forbes:

And then again at age seven, and so as a mom, I just had these constant fear and.

Ginny Forbes:

there's many kinds of fear.

Ginny Forbes:

There's fear of Heights, fear of spiders, fear of being alone.

Ginny Forbes:

But I think if you ask people and they were honest and even Christians, I

Ginny Forbes:

And so that has went, has stayed with me.

Ginny Forbes:

And then after I had my kids, it was then a bit got fearful again for myself as a mom.

Ginny Forbes:

What if something happens to me, what will happen to my kids?

Ginny Forbes:

Or if I was taking a flight, I'd be packing.

Ginny Forbes:

And even, so it was just always in the back of my mind and, leaving the

Ginny Forbes:

and then even on the flight, it would be just before takeoff.

Ginny Forbes:

I would be texting everyone of my kids, telling them I love them.

Ginny Forbes:

And just in case, I didn't make it.

Ginny Forbes:

And so it was just this constant kind of fear and it was so it's

Ginny Forbes:

Maybe 10 years that I've actually truly been released from that.

Ginny Forbes:

And it is through, developing a deep relationship with God and with Jesus.

Ginny Forbes:

And I actually have it's flipped my thinking because it took me all of these years to

Ginny Forbes:

And I just couldn't reconcile that in my mind with why would God let that happen?

Ginny Forbes:

And what I've learned is, we are so attached to this world and the things of

Ginny Forbes:

And we just hang onto that.

Ginny Forbes:

So tightly, and we think this is all there is, we may know there's heaven.

Ginny Forbes:

We know Jesus came to give us everlasting life, but it wasn't

Ginny Forbes:

my sister's in heaven.

Ginny Forbes:

What an honor, that was for her, for Jesus to take her so young.

Ginny Forbes:

She hasn't, we look at it as she missed out on this and she missed out on that.

Ginny Forbes:

But when we have a heavenly view of.

Ginny Forbes:

Everlasting life when there is no more sickness, there is no more fear.

Ginny Forbes:

There is no more, all the things we're dealing with, the striving,

Ginny Forbes:

There is no more of that.

Ginny Forbes:

And so he took her and it's I say this sometimes when people think I'm

Ginny Forbes:

We live our lives, especially as Christians, we live.

Ginny Forbes:

to get to heaven and not that we're to do any works or striving, that is our hope.

Ginny Forbes:

That is the hope that there is life after this one, yet when someone

Ginny Forbes:

And of course we miss them and there's grief.

Ginny Forbes:

That's all very real.

Ginny Forbes:

But when we can realize, the death is the blessing, that's the reward for.

Ginny Forbes:

Living a good life and that they're with Jesus.

Ginny Forbes:

So it's not, they're not sad.

Ginny Forbes:

They're not hurting.

Ginny Forbes:

It's, they're literally have the ultimate reward of being with Jesus.

Coach April Ballestero:

There's so many things you said there, Jenny, and I want

Coach April Ballestero:

How our mind gets attached to something, how are mine creates perceptions.

Coach April Ballestero:

And I'm going to go all the way back to when you said, here's a child.

Coach April Ballestero:

I went into the spirit of death and years later, not just recently, the past 10 years,

Coach April Ballestero:

And I love the word bondage because we don't recognize how easily our emotions

Coach April Ballestero:

Perceptions take us hostage and how they can impact.

Coach April Ballestero:

And all I kept thinking is when your son went in the military and

Coach April Ballestero:

And that coming up for me.

Coach April Ballestero:

And I remember seeing that film that season with you.

Coach April Ballestero:

And recognizing that how many parents that you know, or how many military

Coach April Ballestero:

So fear can be, as you said, so many different things, and yet to keep diving

Coach April Ballestero:

And you covered a lot, but it's a very powerful foundation.

Coach April Ballestero:

When you look at, and I'm thank you for the permission to dig in just a tad bit more.

Coach April Ballestero:

And what you said about, how I allowed it to, even when I got on a plane and I

Coach April Ballestero:

And I tell people all the time, nobody is guaranteed tomorrow.

Coach April Ballestero:

Nobody is guaranteed it or the next hour for that matter.

Coach April Ballestero:

And.

Coach April Ballestero:

Through that journey when you were, again, putting it on the hot seat and

Coach April Ballestero:

how do you watch people avoid this conversation?

Ginny Forbes:

and I want to talk more about what you said the fear, because

Ginny Forbes:

Death is hard to talk about.

Ginny Forbes:

Anyway, when you talk to people and we don't want to talk about it,

Ginny Forbes:

And it's the one thing that is 100% guaranteed in our life.

Ginny Forbes:

we are all going to die and.

Ginny Forbes:

I mean everything on this earth will every animal, every plant, everything.

Ginny Forbes:

And so the important thing is knowing where we're going to go when we die.

Ginny Forbes:

And then for me also is knowing that my family and my loved ones are going as well.

Ginny Forbes:

And so it's a difficult topic, but I think in addressing it in a way

Ginny Forbes:

There is.

Ginny Forbes:

It's so hard to put into word and see it's an elephant.

Ginny Forbes:

It really is.

Ginny Forbes:

But you have to approach, every situation differently.

Ginny Forbes:

And I think for me, people have found comfort in so many ways.

Ginny Forbes:

I've had mothers come up to me saying, who have also lost a child.

Ginny Forbes:

And one mom had said, because it had been many years for her child and

Ginny Forbes:

And she was so glad to hear me talk about.

Ginny Forbes:

My little sister and knowing that, it's been 50 years and she's not forgotten.

Ginny Forbes:

And not only that, but her story is continuing to bring people closer to Jesus

Ginny Forbes:

And so it is through, for me the, through the word of God that has released that fear.

Ginny Forbes:

And, I need to just soak in scripture and, but to believe it with my soul.

Ginny Forbes:

And then I can say today that I am literally fearless.

Ginny Forbes:

I'm fear of anything, because like you said, we can't add one day to our life.

Ginny Forbes:

We can't add one hour.

Ginny Forbes:

And so when we spend our time in fear or worrying fear for our children

Ginny Forbes:

And it's also very bad for our health.

Coach April Ballestero:

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There's so much truth.

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And people don't realize that we created our mind can create poisons inside of our body.

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And and so when I, and it's interesting too, because as you're like, gosh, I

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And it's so accurate because the elephants show up and the elephants get bigger because

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They don't know how to and.

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And what you're doing today is by being able to tell a story of how this showed up

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this young lady, this young sister could, I never got to be a lady or an adult lady,

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And.

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And what a beautiful gift.

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So although it became an elephant and a fear, because you started taking

Coach April Ballestero:

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And you allowed that because you were willing to start having

Ginny Forbes:

I just, I love how it just seems like the Bible and

Ginny Forbes:

It's always the opposite.

Ginny Forbes:

And I liked what you just said about that because you brought that full

Coach April Ballestero:

And it's obvious.

Coach April Ballestero:

and and remember anyone listening, fear is such a huge subject.

Coach April Ballestero:

I'm positive, it'll come up again in our elephants right.

Coach April Ballestero:

In different ways.

Coach April Ballestero:

Because just like yours it was debilitating for a season.

Coach April Ballestero:

And so that elephant became so big that it literally impacted

Coach April Ballestero:

And until you started learning how to take that bite and say, okay how, and that's

Coach April Ballestero:

When did you start feeling comfortable and confident to say, I can talk about this now?

Ginny Forbes:

that again has been more recent and that has come

Ginny Forbes:

And so for me, overcoming, it was.

Ginny Forbes:

Through the word of God, and he tells us, do not fear, 365 times.

Ginny Forbes:

So to me, that's every day of the year, he's told me do not fear.

Ginny Forbes:

And I believe there's actually even one more in there for a bad day, but

Ginny Forbes:

To believe that we are not to fear.

Ginny Forbes:

he even used, for anything, he even used Ravens to feed Elijah, God can do

Ginny Forbes:

And once you do, you will be just free.

Ginny Forbes:

it's the same with my kids.

Ginny Forbes:

Like you mentioned my son in the military.

Ginny Forbes:

I have two Marines and a police officer.

Ginny Forbes:

And they'll say that to me all the time.

Ginny Forbes:

Yeah.

Ginny Forbes:

Like you must be a rack and is, I'm not I'm I sleep like a rock.

Ginny Forbes:

I, I pray for them.

Ginny Forbes:

I pray over them and pray for them.

Ginny Forbes:

And I believe those prayers and I trust asked the Lord and I know

Ginny Forbes:

So there isn't a day that they will.

Ginny Forbes:

go back to be with him.

Ginny Forbes:

And I hope I'm not still here, but but that day is that day.

Ginny Forbes:

I cannot change that.

Ginny Forbes:

There's nothing I can do and no amount of worry, especially, and it started

Ginny Forbes:

then when they go to the military and then out, in the streets and, but, I

Ginny Forbes:

there was, I saw a powerful video and it was a woman who had lost her son.

Ginny Forbes:

another boy had shot him and killed him.

Ginny Forbes:

And during court, she told that boy, she said, I don't blame you.

Ginny Forbes:

God wrote his story.

Ginny Forbes:

This is the day that my son was going to die anyway, but God used you to do it.

Ginny Forbes:

To put you in my life so that I could help you.

Ginny Forbes:

And it was a very powerful moment.

Ginny Forbes:

And, when I saw it, it was like, could I really be, like that.

Ginny Forbes:

and so the more and more that I just believe and trust the Lord.

Ginny Forbes:

I hope that I could be that mom.

Coach April Ballestero:

that's a big call and a, an opportunity to we

Coach April Ballestero:

We are in a, as you said, and we walked into the pandemic and so

Coach April Ballestero:

And so many people did not know what to expect.

Coach April Ballestero:

There's still a level of uncertainty in our world today.

Coach April Ballestero:

And going back to that fear and the awareness of that story is, All

Coach April Ballestero:

Each of our opportunities is to recognize what we are going to believe

Coach April Ballestero:

As you said, like this young lady that took the time to invest in this.

Coach April Ballestero:

Other child, if you will, um, adult, child, maybe, but, um, uh, to, to say, I'm

Coach April Ballestero:

Right.

Coach April Ballestero:

So how so as you start to contemplate other people that are, are, are bonded or,

Coach April Ballestero:

What do you think is a, a simple little tool, a simple

Coach April Ballestero:

Communicating observing, uh, deciding because not everybody as you know,

Coach April Ballestero:

We have certain beliefs and we have certain structures, right.

Coach April Ballestero:

And I profess openly that I believe in a relationship and I

Coach April Ballestero:

The scripture and trust word, that there is an opportunity to communicate about

Coach April Ballestero:

And our job is to open up that communication, right?

Ginny Forbes:

Yes.

Ginny Forbes:

And, and hopefully people can understand, um, you know, A lot of times you need to

Ginny Forbes:

Whether it's anger or fear or a hurt feeling, you know,

Ginny Forbes:

And that's how we test what is from God and what is not.

Ginny Forbes:

And we know that fear is one of Satan's greatest weapons.

Ginny Forbes:

And as a believer, you know, I believe.

Ginny Forbes:

That Satan is, he is on the rampage right now.

Ginny Forbes:

He really is.

Ginny Forbes:

And that is why we're seeing the craziness.

Ginny Forbes:

That nothing makes sense.

Ginny Forbes:

Um, people are fearful of the virus.

Ginny Forbes:

They're afraid to leave their homes.

Ginny Forbes:

They're fearful of other people.

Ginny Forbes:

They're fearful.

Ginny Forbes:

If someone's not wearing a mask, they're afraid of the masks.

Ginny Forbes:

They're afraid to go to church.

Ginny Forbes:

They're afraid to go to the store.

Ginny Forbes:

They're afraid to send their kids to school.

Ginny Forbes:

And if people could.

Ginny Forbes:

Realize or recognize that this is the fear is from Satan and it is,

Ginny Forbes:

And so he is, he's trying to steal our happiness, steal, our

Ginny Forbes:

And, um, the only way to overcome that is, you know, Jesus came

Ginny Forbes:

And we need to lean into that.

Ginny Forbes:

And I don't know how, how else you would ever overcome it without

Ginny Forbes:

I mean, he was, he is the Prince of this world, but it is only through.

Ginny Forbes:

You know, belief, I believe in the word of God that we can overcome that.

Ginny Forbes:

And to believe that, you know, we have all power and authority over him.

Ginny Forbes:

We are over Satan, but we've got to exercise that and not continue to let him rule us.

Ginny Forbes:

Because it is, like we say, it affects every aspect of your lives.

Ginny Forbes:

And even down to your health, it's very unhealthy.

Ginny Forbes:

And especially, you know, fear is an actual emotion and it's a natural and it.

Ginny Forbes:

Came from long ago and it gives us the fight or flight response.

Ginny Forbes:

But what we're seeing today is people living in constant fear.

Ginny Forbes:

It's not that instant decision of fight or flight it's ongoing,

Ginny Forbes:

It manifests as anger.

Ginny Forbes:

Are you seeing more angry people lately?

Ginny Forbes:

We are, um, it manifests as, uh, illness, you know, in our intestinal because our,

Ginny Forbes:

Vital systems that aren't needed at the moment.

Ginny Forbes:

Like it might pump more blood to our muscles so that we can run, or it

Ginny Forbes:

So when we're in this constant, um, constant fear that gets very,

Ginny Forbes:

It leads to depression, anxiety.

Ginny Forbes:

Um, people then retreat, isolation, um, what's the greatest, easiest

Ginny Forbes:

More Holden people is when they're isolated or depressed.

Ginny Forbes:

Um, you know, so we need each other.

Ginny Forbes:

I mean, we're afraid of each other right now.

Ginny Forbes:

And that's the opposite of what we were created for.

Ginny Forbes:

We were created to be in fellowship with others to support

Ginny Forbes:

Also our just our own immune system was.

Ginny Forbes:

Created to need to be exposed to a lot of different things to remain healthy and

Ginny Forbes:

So it's just, I feel it's a very serious subject and, you know, fear

Ginny Forbes:

And we have got to, you know, take control of our lives again and step

Ginny Forbes:

And unfortunately, a lot of it is an agenda right now and fearful

Ginny Forbes:

We don't know what to do.

Ginny Forbes:

It's, you know, like you'll see mice that get startled or they're just

Ginny Forbes:

And they just want someone to tell them what to do.

Ginny Forbes:

And so we need to stop that and we need to, you know, find

Ginny Forbes:

It, sit with, sit with God and sit.

Ginny Forbes:

You know, reading scripture and you can even, it's so easy today to Google, you

Ginny Forbes:

bring some up and you might be amazed, even if you've never read the Bible

Ginny Forbes:

Right now, it's on your phone, you know, to read some of those

Ginny Forbes:

Peaceful that you become, and it's through that over and over, you know, maybe memorize

Ginny Forbes:

I know in the beginning for me, I just had to say, I trust you, Jesus.

Ginny Forbes:

It didn't make any sense to me to trusting him because I.

Ginny Forbes:

In my head, I can't figure out, well, how is this going to happen?

Ginny Forbes:

If, if I'm not the one that does it, but I would just over and over and I

Ginny Forbes:

You know, every time I started to worry, it would be, I trust you, Jesus.

Ginny Forbes:

I trust you, Jesus.

Ginny Forbes:

And then it just got less and less and, and, you know, he will help us.

Coach April Ballestero:

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And that a beautiful gift.

Coach April Ballestero:

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And you know, a couple of things you said that I want to reiterate and then

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The opportunities is to get some clarity.

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Where is this fear coming from?

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What, what generated it, what's accurate about it?

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What evidence do I have to prove it?

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Where, where can I find other evidence?

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And, you know, the case for Christ is one of my favorites.

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Even in the Hollywood version how somebody that was so against belief

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And finally, they said, you know, at what point in time, when will you have

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Right.

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And yet the other thing that I want to wrap up in, in, in what you said is that when

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create an opportunity to determine who is it that we are going to trust to help support

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Because our brain is always looking for that evidence.

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And so we're selling ourselves and we're going to the scripture.

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We're going to people that are, are grounded in that.

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And I want to take it all the way back to even the people that aren't grounded,

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How do you H how do you trust that?

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How do you, and I tell people all the time, some, you may be the only Bible

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Yet.

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I also, dear friend of ours said one time.

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Be careful not to be so on fire about.

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Heaven that you forget to be a worthy in earth, right?

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Don't be so because your opportunities, you don't want to scare somebody either.

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You don't want to, you want to come from a place of saying, this is what I, I

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This is why, and you get to choose.

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And you got to tells me stories about your sister, about your journey of releasing

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How much do I truly trust that I can believe without any fear at all?

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And we're human, that's not natural.

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Right.

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And yet we operate Trinity to say, is the sphere again, going all the

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What I heard you say is first and foremost, where does it come from?

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Clarify.

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Second of all, determine what evidence do I have, but that's as accurate.

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Where do I want to find evidence?

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How do I confirm?

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And then also, and ultimately for your belief process, which we want to plant

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That there's opportunity to have a different perception.

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If you're willing.

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And that's a choice because it's not going to be forced on you.

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And I would never want that to be forced on anyone.

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Right.

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Our opportunity is to continue to let the seeds blossom in the

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When they're meant to be fertilized, if you will.

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And that's a journey, right?

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I mean, and we've watched over the years and I'm sure you have too where each person is.

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And I think they, I'm thankful for the people that are taking the time to

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Right.

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And we've all been there.

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Right, right.

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Anything we didn't cover in our addressing the elephant young lady.

Ginny Forbes:

Well, for me, I just want people to find the peace.

Ginny Forbes:

You know, there is a peace that surpasses all understanding

Ginny Forbes:

It, it doesn't, it doesn't make sense to even believers or non-believers

Ginny Forbes:

And that is what I.

Ginny Forbes:

Wish, you know, for everyone that we can find that peace and, and find the

Ginny Forbes:

them and go about our business and, and fearlessly, without fear, knowing that

Coach April Ballestero:

Amen.

Coach April Ballestero:

And what, and Jenny, if anybody wants to reach out for you, how would they contact

Ginny Forbes:

you?

Ginny Forbes:

Probably the best way would be through messenger.

Ginny Forbes:

Um, so I would hear from anyone

Coach April Ballestero:

excellent and that, and we will post this on our dressing

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It get released next Tuesday, I believe.

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And I'll verify that.

Coach April Ballestero:

And and there with.

Coach April Ballestero:

Wonderful wrap up, Jenny.

Coach April Ballestero:

The gift of what you provided is that fear is, is, is real.

Coach April Ballestero:

And yet there's an opportunity to recognize who you can find

Coach April Ballestero:

Thank you for joining us.

Ginny Forbes:

Thank you April.

Coach April Ballestero:

Thank you everybody for joining us.

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Addressing the ELEPHANT in the Room™
Addressing the ELEPHANT in the Room™
We discuss hard things to talk about and shed light on difficult subjects.

About your hosts

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April Ballestero

Author, Facilitator, Founder, Consultant, Speaker, and Strategic Leadership Coach guiding light bulb moments. Thankful to be celebrating 10 years of guiding, coaching, and leading industry leaders such as attorneys, coaches, chiropractors, financial planners, the real estate industry, and many other sales and business professionals across the nation. The celebration goes on to include over 20 years of business, professional and personal development which I am so honored to share as a vessel to our clients, coaches, and community.
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Eric Ballestero

Eric Ballestero has worked with Coach April Ballestero since before ONE LIGHT AHEAD's inception in 2011 while he was still in school and has continually brought new ideas and a lot of technical help to the team. He now produces the Addressing the ELEPHANT in the Room podcast in addition to being the Operations Coordinator to ONE LIGHT AHEAD.